Mother’s Day is this weekend.
Being a mother (and bonus mother) is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, especially after Mitch passed.
I think women give their all to others, it’s just part of our DNA but when I was widowed, it become all about the kids more than myself.
I think I delayed my grieving for years because I wanted/needed to make sure my little’s were okay. They were 1 and 2 when he died and it became my life’s mission to be enough for them in all ways.
Of course, over time, I’ve learned you can’t replace people who die or make up for it in any real way. They are dead, there is no way to make that okay because it’s just not, especially for the children.
With that said, we can teach them how to grieve and how to live by displaying healthy tools for our grief.
Yes, it’s hard when you are doing it solo.
Yes, it’s work.
Yes, you an always make excuses for time, exhaustion, and overwhelm. These are legitimate and honest circumstances that should be validated, but remember, nothing can change unless you are willing to make changes.
Some ways to lead by example for your kiddos during loss:
💜Prioritize health and fitness, get strong.
💜Prioritize your own healing through therapy (Somatic, EMDR, CBT, etc).
💜Prioritize your own time and boundries.
💜Go outside in nature.
💜CRY, teach them emotions are safe.
💜Avoid numbing your pain (alcohol, drugs, partying, etc).
💜Read and grow.
💜Love what was but be willing to love what is.
This weekend will be tough for so many women (and husband’s missing their wife).
Be gentle on yourself.
If you are a mother, you are such an important human in this world. You should be celebrated in all ways. It’s not easy to raise the next generation of humans.
You are a hero.