As women, we are given this gift of intuition that will rarely steer us in the wrong direction IF we are willing to set aside our rational, overthinking minds and lean into our inner voice. Many times in my life, this voice has SCREAMED at me, “Wake up, Michelle, pay attention,” the times I listened have never taken me down a path I didn’t want/need to go. With that said, sometimes our inner voice seems irrational or to be going against conventional wisdom, so we set it aside and continue to follow what has worked in the past, swimming upstream and making our life harder.
For probably six years, I’ve been ready to change my social media from One Fit Widow to something that feels like it allows more personal growth and provides space in my life, but I just kept going in the direction of what was built from a different time/place in my life. Everyone told me I couldn’t change things up; I had followers to consider, a brand name, and a story that helps others, so I should stay where I was from a decade earlier. Sadly, the feeling of being “stuck” has kept me sitting in a place I no longer wanted to live for far too long, and the inability to “move” can impact so many aspects of an individual’s life. When we stop being authentic to who we are to please others, we cut off our own life force and energy, drag our feet in the dirt, and stifle our own path forward.
We get attached to our stories, trauma, and past identities and continue to live in that place because it’s comfortable. Maybe it’s making you unhappy, but even comfortable misery is easier than uncomfortable unknown territory I realize that significant changes are complicated, scary, and often just daunting. Still, we must keep reminding ourselves that we can’t know what’s behind the next door or the next phase unless we are willing to walk into that unknown place and live from our authentic selves. Also, please remember that just because you walk through a new door and evolve doesn’t mean you’ve left what came before behind forever. Instead of walking away from your past, incorporate it into who you are becoming and allow it to inform your future growth. Just because I no longer want to identify as One Fit Widow does not mean I won’t always be Mitch’s widow. That’s just part of the story that is my life, but it doesn’t have to define the next part of my book.
I hope my recent moves toward what comes next for me inspire you to take small actions in your life. Since my announcement last week, a weight has been taken off my shoulders. The weight of other people’s expectations, a past identity defining my every move, and my new space gave me the freedom to look around and deep breathe into all the possibilities of what comes next. It feels like an expansive space with freedom, free-flowing energy, and a beautiful mountain meadow full of flowers. It feels like spring in my soul.
You are a fluid, non-linear being. Live from that place with your every move. Live authentically and honestly, that’s the good stuff, and that will open up everything you need in this life.